How to Make A Decision When You’re Stuck

how to make a decision

Do you know you have to make a decision about something, but you feel like it’s easier to just wait it out and see what happens?

That was me, not long ago. I was feeling rather stuck and I knew I had to make a change. But I was afraid to make that decision to take a leap of faith.

I know I am not alone. We all get into these situations where we cannot move or make a decision when:

  • We are fearful of doing the wrong thing
  • We don’t want something, but aren’t sure about the other option
  • We believe that our choices are forever

Fear and uncertainty can certainly stop us from moving forward. And yet, as we gesture wildly at the world around us, there is an impetus pulling us to make some decisions.

Being indecisive can be good in that we allow ourselves the freedom to analyze a decision for possible outcomes. However, when we feel stuck, it stops us from moving forward about things that could really actualize our full potential and give us that feeling of contentment and creative freedom.

Hint: that contentment and creative freedom is your birthright and it’s how you’re supposed to feel. All. The. Time. When you feel it, your internal compass is telling you that you are on track, tapped in, turned on, and going in the right direction for you. Yes, even if your partner says to go the other way. Yes, even if your co-workers or your boss are telling you that you should be doing other things. Maybe those external forces are telling you that you are, indeed, stuck.

Here are signs that your indecision means that you are stuck.

  • You actually feel stuck. You know you are stuck and you cannot choose.
  • You have done your best. You’ve tried to move forward, but it is still not working, so you’re waiting to see what happens next. You’re feeling disillusioned and lost. 
  • You’ve recently experienced a disappointment and you cannot recover from negative thinking about it.
  • Nothing feels appealing. Everything seems like too much effort and won’t create the experience you want. You feel pessimistic about everything.
  • You wish external situations would change and make your life choice easier. 
  • You want someone else to make the choice for you.
  • You’re waiting until you have to make a choice because you think that the situation will work itself out and then the best and most obvious choice will present itself to you and you won’t have to make a choice because only one choice will be available.

Does any of that sound familiar? Don’t feel bad if it does.

I’ve been in every one of those situations at one point or another throughout my life. And I am willing to bet everyone has at one point or another, too.

We often find ourselves indecisive when we’re faced with an important choice or when we are afraid to make a decision. Being indecisive isn’t the problem. It’s the emotional paralysis and fear that we suffer from the perceptions we have when we’re in that state. That indecisiveness and emotional paralysis is a negative feedback loop that can lead to a lack of confidence and trust. Then when we finally are forced to make a choice, usually because we have waited so long that we can no longer avoid it, the choice we make comes from a place of fear and powerlessness. And our outcomes usually reflect the intentions we have when we’re making those choices.

Decide Right Now

The best way to move from fence sitting indecision is to change perspective. Instead of making the choice from the place of indecision, fear, or stickiness, move towards the desired outcome. This can be done from the power of imagination and visualization of our desired outcome. It requires a fundamental shift, a pretending. We have to convince our emotional state that we are soaking in the desired outcome and decide from there.

From a place of disempowerment, we don’t know what the outcome will be. And since we’re scared, all choices are terrifying.

But if we focus on the outcome we want, we’ll start attracting the energy, the focus, and the internal resources that the desired outcome requires. Then, the choice which matches that outcome will become much more clear. It’s possible too that the choice which matches the outcome we want isn’t even one of the choices we’re considering. So getting into the state of our desired outcome helps create that impetus in our choices. Then we raise the frequency of our perspective, shift the vibration and attract a higher potential outcome because we’re no longer in fear or afraid of making the wrong choice.

Sometimes those outcomes can feel too big. If so, break it down into the feeling state of the outcome. And in essence, those feeling states usually center around happiness, contentment, security, joy, creativity and playfulness. At the very least, if you cannot get there from here, you can find those emotional states somewhere within your present moments. Playing catch with the dog, going for a walk, appreciating the mundane, these small steps can start to shift focus out of fear states and towards the states we’d rather experience.

And then. Decide.

Everything you want is on the other side of the decision you know you need to make.

This is #9 of #ClickPublish, in which I made a decision. Photo is perfect for a hot July day, thanks to Oliver Roos on Unsplash.

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