Negative emotions lead to liberation

It has been a very busy month. I had a goal of podcasting every single day for the month of September. I knew that with two eclipses, a Mercury retrograde, and the equinox all in one month, there would be a lot to talk about. However, the level of activity required of me for various projects became overwhelming. That was one commitment I couldn’t keep.

Bruce, feeling much better.

Bruce Almighty, feeling much better.

We still have the foster kittens. One of them, Bruce, got very sick and there was some talk about him not making it as his digestive system was not assimilating food. He didn’t feel well, and spent most of his time curled up on one of us while his brothers and sisters played. Some high powered antibiotics followed by some probiotics fixed him up, however, and he’s doing great now. The support from the shelter manager and all of my friends and family on Facebook helped me get through it all. And Bruce got a middle name, Almighty. How sweet is that? I swear, he’s got his own following now on Facebook.

Because Bruce, and his slightly insane tortie sister Maia, had not gained enough weight, they were not ready to get neutered and spayed for the September trip, so they have to wait another month.

All of this was unexpected, but as with parenting, fostering comes with commitments. And when we make commitments, we follow through. Well, I do. If I can do it, I do what I say I’m going to do.

Mark, however, is ready for life to return to normal. He is the only one in the house not enjoying the presence of the kittens, and he has let me know this. I, however, was not happy that he is not accommodating the kittens when I accommodate so much for him.

It started a fight. A big one.

I thought he was being unreasonable, and boy did I get mad at him. And during the course of the argument, I realized that the part of me that was mad at him had more expectations than other parts. It was all in my memory banks. He took a risk during the fight and asked me to shift my eye movement. I took a risk and did it. And I started to see some distinctions.

Now this is not to say that he’s not wrong, because KITTENS. But I started to see how I was running a pattern that made me more defensive and angry than I would have been otherwise. It wasn’t really about who was right or wrong, but how we communicated about what we want, what we feel, and what we believe so strongly to be true.

It was a fascinating bit of learning, and I suggested we talk about what had happened. So, we recorded a podcast about the experience. I actually suggested it, because I thought it would be interesting to dissect my belief pattern and talk about what it was, where it came from, and how I was able to identify it in the heat of an argument and let it go. So that podcast is here.

Magi, look at that nose!

The presence of the kittens here has really given me a lot to work with in understanding myself more and working with the emotions and the beliefs that come up. I committed to giving them a space to grow up, but they returned the favor with growth and healing I wouldn’t have been able to work with otherwise.

Negative emotions are good

So many times in spiritual communities, we are taught to immerse ourselves in positivity and “love and light” all the time, so much so that we lose opportunities to really grow and expand our understanding of ourselves. We mask over negative emotions or conflict so much that we never give ourselves opportunities to learn and grow.

Our emotions are wonderful tools for understanding what it is that we believe about our reality and ourselves. We are not our emotions, we are not our feelings, and we are not our thoughts, but these are programs that create the experience and our perceptions about what we think is so true. If we’ve got negative emotions, they come from our thoughts, which come from our beliefs. In ho’oponopono, this is our “data” we have to clean up. But if we don’t have negative experiences, how do we know which rooms of our mind need a cleaning?

Why suffer?

The only true purpose of suffering is to teach us how not to suffer anymore. When negative feelings or conflict show up, it gives you an opportunity to really understand yourself. Don’t mask it, not sadness, not depression, not anger, not frustration. All of these things, even boredom, are things that we create for a reason to explore ourselves more. Leverage emotions, leverage your states, and you find the path to alleviating suffering.

I am lucky to have the resources and tools to make distinctions and explore the beliefs that drive my reality, and I am lucky to realize that I am not my emotions, my states, or my feelings. I’m not even my thoughts or beliefs. Making that distinction about who I really am and how my beliefs create my reality and my experience, for both good and bad, help me to navigate my life in productive ways that lead to growth and more love.

And, did I mention kittens? 😉

Spay and Neuter, people. Please.


Maia and me: the kitten selfie

The kittens will be with us until mid-October. After that, they’ll be available for adoption through Siskiyou Humane Society. Each one of them is pretty special. Maia has developed the most amazing personality of all: fearless, cuddly and sweet, playful, and absolutely hilarious. She may need a post dedicated to her alone. If she ever slows down, I’ll take a picture that isn’t blurry.

Taking care of kittens over the last few months has taught me a lot about myself. It’s also given me a ton of respect for the people who commit to caring for animals. The people at the humane society have supported me throughout this process so very much; they are awesome people who I adore and respect so very much.

And as for the people who can’t even be bothered to spay or neuter or, as in Sapphire’s case, leave their animal behind when they move, well, let’s just say I hope I never meet you face to face. I still have a few belief patterns there that I’d love to share with you.



How to use your emotions and beliefs to gain freedom

We’re still fostering kittens. Sapphire got sick at one point, and it upset me a lot more than I thought it would. Whenever there is an upset and emotions coming up around an issue that feel a lot more powerful than the event warrants, there are usually beliefs that need to be cleared.

Our emotions are not us, even though we might say, “I am sad,” or “I am angry.” Our emotions, however, are wonderful tools for getting at the various beliefs we hold that may cloud our reality.


Emotions, beliefs, and freedom

A friend and I have been talking recently about Dr. Bruce Lipton‘s work on the biology of belief. He came across a process, apparently rooted in NLP, that can be used to reprogram beliefs. Using what I have learned from the Emotion Code process, we put together a simple process of muscle testing, emotional identification, and belief shifting while standing on my front porch. I used the process to clear some of these unconscious patterns.

It was kind of shocking how fast it shifted my emotional state. When my friend came over, I was plagued by uncontrollable tears about Sapphire being separated from her kittens. Within a minute of going through our belief shift process, I was free and clear of the tears.

Sometimes we have to dive into something really difficult and go through it so that we can find areas where we need relief and release from the belief data that keeps us from knowing who we really are. But we’re often so fearful of the pain that is there, we’ll do whatever we can to mask or avoid dealing with the emotions as they come up. Some of us even take medications to avoid going there because it is so scary. But by avoiding the work, we avoid going into the dark so that we can pull our soul out of its prison cell.

We are not our emotional states. Emotions are transient. They check into the hotel of our being and stay for a while. Some, like the rockstars they are, trash the place. But we are not our states, as much as we try to convince ourselves that we are. Even our language dictates believing that we are our emotions. (e.g., I am angry, I am sad, I am happy.) We are the larger part of ourselves where we are free and clear of our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.

Meditation makes the distinction

I am a huge fan of meditation as a tool to get out of the traps of emotions, beliefs and thoughts. You start seeing who you really are in meditative state, and it shows us how we are not our emotions, our thoughts, or our beliefs. Our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs are tools that we use to navigate the matrix of life on earth. If we think that our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs are the things running the show, however, we’re imprisoned. As soon as we get the distinction, we become free.

Emotions show us the path to freedom

Our emotions, however, are quite useful. By allowing them to flow, allowing them to be what they are, they can show us what room they’re staying in within us. They let us know what beliefs we’re carrying around that cause us to make decisions about our life. Our emotions show us where our beliefs are, and it shows us what thoughts are plaguing us.

In the case of my sadness about Sapphire, I realized that I have been plagued by fears and anxiety related to abandonment and loss that stop me from taking certain risks in my life. I feared making certain changes because I was afraid of loss. Even asserting my desires and wants were becoming difficult as these erroneous beliefs were causing me to back down in fear whenever I was challenged.

I didn’t even have to spend hours in therapy looking for the erroneous beliefs. It doesn’t really matter where they came from, and it doesn’t really matter how they’ve caused me pain in the past. I just had to look at what was happening, and ask if it was something I wanted to change.

Often times, we want to make changes in our life, but we’re not quite sure what to do. We may be aware of our emotions, beliefs, and thoughts being separate from the real self, but we’re not quite sure how to leverage those emotions to find what we’re looking for. But our consciousness knows, and if we ask, we’ll get the pathway for clearance loud and clear. Our emotions are the key. The more we ask about what we’re feeling and the beliefs it’s associated with, the easier change becomes.

Quite literally, I was able to reprogram my beliefs without much analysis of where they came from, just by identifying what beliefs were operating, and intuitively determining the new belief and emotions that I would rather experience instead.

In the case of Sapphire, I decided that I would rather just know that no matter what happens, I am okay. So, I reprogrammed my unconscious to believe “I am okay with abandonment,” and “I am okay with loss.” Because really, we’re always okay. We might not like something, but we’re always okay.

Asking the body

Muscle testing is a pretty cool tool for getting at what is going on under the surface of our conscious mind. You know, the part of you that thinks it’s in control and knows what is going on, but the one that also is freaking out about the emotional state taking over. I have known about muscle testing for decades, but I am really lousy at reading it myself. And sometimes how we ask questions of our body can be tricky. Muscle testing is an art form that requires a bit of practice, and feedback from someone else who can help determine whether or not you’re getting something strong.

I started to write up everything that I did, and I realized that it was turning into a short novel. I tried to record a podcast about it, and realized I needed to do this visually. A friend, Armando, contacted me about doing a webinar about what had happened. Come to find out, he knew this process well, too.

So, we did a webinar, specifically about reprogramming the beliefs that create debt. You can view it on YouTube and get an idea of how this process works, and how you can use it to clear unhelpful beliefs. I also go into some detail on how I was able to help other people.

I am hoping to do even more of these webinars, sharing all that I’ve learned through various healing modalities. If you’d like to participate, join the mailing list for announcements!

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